...couldn't be more blank!

My grandma lies cold in the hospital as I write this, awaiting her funeral….
Yesterday when I got the news I couldn’t put a finger on how I felt about it. She was 85 and suffering… so I am glad that the ordeal is over for her. But there’s this emptiness… there are so many things that went wrong between her n I that I really wish there was a way that our relationship could have been simpler… happier…

We spent a lot of time together. I remember visiting random people and getting bored outta my skull but accompanying her all over town. I remember she and I took a trip once with some other people and she really took care of me, like a grandma… these were days when life wasn’t really all peachy with us n her. She and I never really fought but seeing her exchange horrid words with my closest people often had me in tears. Life spent with her need not have been that bad.

Life is just so short… people always forgive and move on… but… why quarrel in the first place? Why have that bitterness and waste time which could have been lovely… just like that trip we took… why does it always take strangers or worse isolation and separation to remind us of how close we actually are?

madness contd...

Tomorrow’s supposed to be a very high, high tide! Well, it’s a normal enough phenomenon but somehow we are all supposed to be scared and locked up in our rooms, thanks to how effortlessly we are screwed up our drainages…. Not completely complaining cause I would not mind a holiday at all…and long weekends are just the need of the hour!

In fact, this weekend might be a special one, after nearing two years of marriage, Hub n I might be going for the marriage prep course. Jesus won’t certify out marriage unless we hear those good people out. Interesting….

Given that the first couple of years after marriage that is supposed to be the toughest, we got through all that without any words of wisdom coming from any end… and after all the mess and crap is over, we decide to prepare ourselves of marriage :)
But then, that’s just us… We just love doing things all topsy-turvy!

of rainbows and itching irritations....

I hear I have become very irritable off late… wondering how is it that I will be skimming out of that image now… Point is I can’t for the life of me understand why do people have to work for money, that to in such awful conditions like ours? Why can’t we go back to barter times? My brand and promotions dept is surviving decently with that! Why can’t I just be a good girl and stay away from ppl’s head and they in turn make sure I have a roof on my head and plenty to eat?.... This is kinda walking straight into my previous blog ‘craving for simpler times’ but I just can’t stop the craving… maybe just withdrawal symptoms!

Just the other day, I was walking around the sea-face and it was gorgeous, everything and everyone getting swept by the grimy water washing over the drive from the Mumbai sea line! It might be dirty, blackened water with thick oil spills making tiny rainbows all through the waves that worry me sick… but secretly I was happy. It is that much, I miss seeing the rainbow in the sky….

Oh, I remember the last time I saw one, it was way back in 2006 and I was in Vasai, very much a part of Bombay but still a step away from the pollution. I as always wanted to go on a boat ride or at least see the sea (I get a kick outta it) and there I was with my best friend and my then boy-friend now husband staring at that bright colorful expanse running right across the sky making a fairytale roof under which I stood – the happiest person alive… feeling complete, feeling loved and feeling one with the higher power!

It was such a happy day that I try to pretend living it in the broken slippery rainbows I see across the waves every time I walk along the sea… I am scared to know that the waters of Bombay are scarily edging towards getting radioactive with the pollution it carries with it…. But I smile nevertheless!!!

craving for simpler times...

It is crazy, you go home to your parents and get all happy, since you’ve missed them and also realizing how much they miss you but the one way they chose to exhibit how much they’ve missed you is to nag you… till death! - “Why do you have to do every thing yourself? Why aren’t you more organized? Why are you shifting sofas all by yourself?” worse, “Why don’t you realize that you need a break!” Yeah right, when will parents ever listen, at least to their own selves!

When I tried doing just what they were telling me, my sis didn’t appreciate ‘cause she wanted me to be my fun self and entertain, and mom fervently tried to explain why my sis didn’t appreciate my reading a book (btw white tiger might have got a bookers but totally mediocre stuff – unimpressed!)

So I had to shut the damn book (I obviously pretended it to be a favour to my sis rather than admit it wasn’t worth it in the first place) And start being my happy self which I got paid for in terms of yummy food (somehow cooking what you have cooked isn’t fun) yesterday I also got a little wine, so 

But today, life wasn’t as simple…

Firstly it started off with me in ‘bhabhiji’ mode, fighting with my maid who just refuses to come on time…
Then I get to work, the wine and yummy food wasn’t really behaving too well and work was just making me more woozy when a PR girl buzzed me with a link to share…
Guessing it must be something work related n her incessant pestering made me open the link… and to my shock there were some rather lewd pics in there…. WHAT A F@#KING JOKE? (line courtesy White Tiger)
I mean hulloooooooo, what was she thinking???? My head is as wobbly has my fat lil Leo making a chase for his toy... just not being able to fathom things around me!

Seriously, where are the simpler times!