Saturday, September 19, 2009

more randomness and movies....

For a very long time I had The Reader, tucked away in one of the CDs at home, somehow wasn’t really in the frame of mind to want to watch something which would be heavy on the heart.

Today while waiting for pages to proofread I ran through the film, actually sat peacefully and enjoyed every bit of it, given the fact that we have the issue packed up and waiting to reach the stands and not too many people had shown up today. I liked the film….

Actually, human behaviour in itself is such a compelling subject that somehow, it always conjures up fantastic stories. Just why we do what we do is so intriguing for one and all. Like in the case of Hanna Schmit…
(I am not the greatest fan of Kate Winslet and through the initial 15mins of the film I was pretty unhappy with the way that kid looked too… but then again, you don’t really go wowie, and totally glued to a film from the word go, it has to grow on you.)

There are many times when I look back in life, I wonder what if I had done things differently. I don’t really know if my life would have been much different cause I haven’t been on too many crossroads or maybe I just didn’t stop to ponder ever, when maybe I should have, I’d never know!

Another thing, the whole jazz about ‘guilt’!

Through out the film I kept thinking of how did the Kid ever manage to get over the guilt of keeping mum, about not going through those gates and walking up to Hanna the first time he attempted. For someone like me who just needs reasons to worry my heart out, it is too much pain to deal with. I don’t know why I do that so very many times; I pick out a person from the yore and think of all the days that we have shared, many a times it adds up to nothing more than 2 or 3… and then think of an instance where perhaps I tried telling a joke that might have hurt the person, or even a snide comment (I used to be super sarcastic to the world at one pointt; I am now working against it) and then feel miserable about the whole thought. In all probability, I might be the only one of the two who has even bothered to remember the instance yet, I succeed in making myself miserable about it.

Like this one recurring thought: About a professor of ours, I have always been obedient and respectful of others but this one time, a classmate pointed out to me how this particular professor might be really dirty, for he wears the same clothes all the time… The thought of person not changing clothes, equated to lack of civic sense in my head, I couldn’t think of any other reasons why someone wont change clothes and would feel very disgusted if I had to go past him, till somehow I heard he wasn’t financially well off and was working very hard to support the family… that guilt still stays with me, though with it also comes the pray of hope, that wherever he might be, he should be doing good today!

Friday, September 18, 2009

to be or not to be.........

well, this week has been quite a scarrry one, for a good long time I thought, rather was almost partially certain that we are excepting... and boy, so many things flew right into my face, slapping me all over... realization of our finances, the lack of knowledge to deal with whatever was going to come our way... and basically, just fear of going through it for the next coming years through the entire life.........

I guess that is why they say, it is not wise to ponder!

Friday, September 11, 2009

musings, if i may!

There are many things I have to do at this very moment, but I chose to pen some thoughts down…. Just that when the thoughts get inevitable and have no solutions, one can always pen them down and philosophies. Like the other day the girls got together asking me how did I know that I was ready to marry, how did I know that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with…do I ever sit back and wonder how life would have been had I gone the other way etc….

It is then that I sat back to think, that most of the times we think of how it would have been when it is clearly not the best day of our life…. Something is going a lil off-key and we want to quickly slip into dream mode and think of how life would be and more such musings that keep us amused just the right amount so that we can get up and hit the kitchen and go on with the chores… but frankly, how fair is it to compare the sad days with some happy hypothesis and tell ourselves to move on…. ridiculous…

If you want to find things to be depressed about, you will find them even at duty-free stores, sold dime-a-doz… but it is still not going to be worth it!