...couldn't be more blank!

My grandma lies cold in the hospital as I write this, awaiting her funeral….
Yesterday when I got the news I couldn’t put a finger on how I felt about it. She was 85 and suffering… so I am glad that the ordeal is over for her. But there’s this emptiness… there are so many things that went wrong between her n I that I really wish there was a way that our relationship could have been simpler… happier…

We spent a lot of time together. I remember visiting random people and getting bored outta my skull but accompanying her all over town. I remember she and I took a trip once with some other people and she really took care of me, like a grandma… these were days when life wasn’t really all peachy with us n her. She and I never really fought but seeing her exchange horrid words with my closest people often had me in tears. Life spent with her need not have been that bad.

Life is just so short… people always forgive and move on… but… why quarrel in the first place? Why have that bitterness and waste time which could have been lovely… just like that trip we took… why does it always take strangers or worse isolation and separation to remind us of how close we actually are?