ramblings.... if I may

Back after a tiny break, it felt wonderful to have my friends reminding me to update, made me feel important and a little proud of my persuasiveness. I literally have them on gunpoint every time I write a blog and compulsorily make them read it  but I love it all the same!
So well, I thought I must have loads to update, since three days is a long time for life to be uneventful… but nothing earth shattering has happened….
Yes, MJ passed away while the world is mourning I don’t know how I feel about it. I mean I do feel bad when I see the news reports and hear his music but that’s that…. I still don’t know what I’m feeling. One things for sure that it’s pathetic to be lonesome, living in a constant fear when you have hordes of people loving you, weeping, waiting for just a glance of you. I guess, they are right when they say too much of anything is bad. And I’ve just been made to realize, I laugh a way bit toooo much!!!

Here’s the thing, I get terribly stifled when I cannot be myself. After a lil bit of sitting-upright-at-the-dinner-table kinda formality in a quick year life at my in-laws has become less stressful and more family. Thankfully, even they, now, know not to get too startled if they see me suddenly dancing to nothing at all… the issue being I never really realized how often I act totally crazy till I completely freaked my father-in-law out!

When he returned from work, I was quietly reading the paper, I was very curious to read about this article they had in the TOI about how the maid has become the family man’s fantasy (they are really creeping me out with such articles) so well, he sneaked quietly at my side and looked rather worried. I looked up at him only to answer questions like – “are you alright? Did someone say something to you? Are you upset? Hungry?” I had zero inkling about what he was getting at but I repeated told him ‘I am fine’…. After much assurance he suspiciously stopped only to ask, “if all is well, why aren’t you smiling and dancing around?” Jeeeeez! I didn’t know I did that so often! No wonder no one takes me seriously at home.

Did I just say home? Surprising cause I really don’t know which one is my home anymore! Is it where my mom is? Is it where my pa-in-law is…. Or is it the place H n I are so fervently trying to make into a home? I guess it is confusion that will remain my asylum for life!